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mr_morphine @ 2007 - 11-18T17: 05:00

Part 2 is not the news

long after I had received the reply of my ex, I called T. and told him that I will austeigen the band. It just went on so no more. To be honest, I was with the situation in the band for a long time not really happy, but I stayed because I still had the hope that they would do something.
There were basic things that have bothered me to the others I would not have to change. As I have already wrote the first part, I have in the past few months a change through. This included that I had developed musically. I started to hear the music differently, experience them differently, they feel right and I noticed that the rest of the troops could not go along with me. They were still on the same level as some years ago and would not and could not get involved because I felt that I just slowed down. So I have taken the consequences and went away. J. flipped out when he has experienced. It ended in a huge controversy and we would have almost beaten. The moment I realized what I had actually suspected all along: What he really kind of person. For not only musically, and personally I have developed and am no longer the same as 5 years ago. He did not want to admit, for he is still on the same page and it will probably still be in 5 years. At the time, then I thought it was still great to drink every night, taking drugs, going to parties, other reason to chat etc.. And now that those times are over for me, so he did not come clear. J. may be an intelligent and sensitive human being with good people skills and a keen intellect, which no one pretending to something so easily. He can see through people very well and assess situations well and quickly, but his character is corrupt through and through. He is basically still a toddler with huge ego problems, internally totally restless and unstable. timid by nature, it occurs as a go-getter and gives every impression as one, which one is better from the road. He is very engaging, always seeks to be number one, always in focus and control everything and everyone. Earlier, he was off with the wrong people who took advantage of him in rows, and he noticed it mostly when it was too late. Then he parted from them, but not without having previously beaten again with them, or at least offended. I've never experienced that he wanted to divorce someone for good. In most cases, have their Friends and suspected him unceremoniously left to simply never reported to him. Among all his friends he had until now, almost no one was there where he had had no quarrel. To his leave but that exploiting any of his friends, on the contrary: He is always there for his friends when they need it, but in friendship, he sees something like a following, which he is the leader. As long as his friends act and behave this way, as he wants and not develop it own ego, he accepts them as his friends. But if someone starts and developed his own opinion, then he tried to fight him and subdue him. And if he does not succeed, there it friction constantly full to these friends pissed and go back on him. How many I have already come and go and see him ... I was the one who has endured the longest time with him. Nearly 10 years we were friends.
Him I cry at least according to no tears, because I think I'm going to start now that I'm rid of him, finally, to flourish. He stopped me more than he has done much to me. Too bad that I have not detected much earlier. Who knows where I would be today. But
better now than later. I recently had
a meeting with T., the bassist of my ex-band. I'm with him a few things need to be clarified. With J. I would not have done, because that would be likely to escalate in 2 minutes.
It was about our web site and domain name, whom I now write about. Then it went about whether they can play the songs I've written ... I have of course denied, because I do not think J. sings a single note of my songs! T. I'm sorry, because he is innocent in the matter purely drawn with. With him I never had a problem, he was always very correct to me. He is a wonderful person, how she meets these days rarely and we have decided that we always wanted to write again here and there.
When we said our goodbyes and I gave him the keys of the rehearsal room, handed over, we had tears in his eyes. 6 years we were like brothers, always together on the road, have all shared. Now we have torn apart such circumstances.
Life is not fair to me .... in any case has nothing more here. I will look for me soon new people with whom I can make music together. And if I should not be found, I will move on. I keep open the option to go abroad.
I only live once and life can be over any time.
It's a race against time, from which you do not know when it expires. As a waiting room for death. You never know when one is called.

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mr_morphine @ 2007-11-17T17: 53:00

I see that I am here for 4 weeks 've written anything. There is news, oh yes ... there are plenty of news, and not all of them positive, considered at least from my present position.
My last entry ended with the words "Something's happening in my life." Given the events in recent weeks has set this as bitter irony that I had at the time no idea how right I should keep these words.
First of all times: My ex is on the note that I have it resolved in the letter, actually answer. A little surprised me, because I had not expected it. Although their response was of short and concise, but at least she has ever made the effort. She told me that they are still not in a position looks to connect again to contact me. Then she wished me all the best. That's it. Everything was in their mail not there. Words that one has read in under 10 seconds, but have enough significance.
Then I had her then responded. What I just wrote it, I do not remember, but it was not much longer. Actually, one would think that if she is in a new relationship, she may have feelings for me no more. Apparently, the not so well, but to be honest, I do not know really how I interpret their behavior.
I think it's not so great that they all happen overnight Contact was broken off and is completely submerged. I am still of the opinion that we have too much experience together and that our relationship was too intense, as that absolute silence would be appropriate.
But on the other hand, I can not force anybody to do so.
is really slow even before I bad I my whole LJ zupflastere with it and so often write about her. Well, at least the chance is now lower, they will do something to ... now that a new man came into her life. To know that she is now happy again, I will help in processing the whole immensely.
There are so many things I wanted to tell her absolutely. I will here all down, hoping that they might look clean but one day here and reading this.
Although I have initially denied, I am indebted to N. some. She has made a difference in me which has made long before her 29 years no one. She has done a miracle that I even still so overwhelmed that I should become a believer on the spot. have been I look back at this time and draws a conclusion, then, the fact that they came into my life, only determination. All my life I had built up a facade and they accepted so much to me that it was part of my ego. And I've eventually lost in the fog of daily acting for themselves what I definitely seen in retrospect brought to drugs. Not only do I no longer knew who I was, I had no idea where I lost myself. Where should I start searching.
She has managed the impossible and led me to myself. We were without doubt the same type of person and when I watched it, it was as I looked deep into my psyche. After the separation began my facade to crumble, piece by piece, until now nothing is left of it. I previously had a life without drugs can hardly imagine, now I can not imagine ever again to start. I have taken new courage, am gained an unprecedented self-confidence and feel completely adjusted psychologically. I have now accepted as I am. Thanks to you I know now to what I have to ensure in your life. Thanks to her I am now finding my way. N. Thanks! I am obliged to you forever in gratitude.
Although it is not always easy, but now I have at least one perspective and knows what it means to live.
pity that I did not realize when we were still together. Too bad that we have achieved our goal ever. Sometimes I fall today into a deep sadness when I think back to that time, for only a few time later, I knew who I really am. If we were at the time still been together, I am sure that a positive place U-turn in our relationship would have. I actually still not managed to get over it and if I'm erhlich, I do not know if I'll ever make. Because it hurts so much damned if I imagine, cursed as we have just missed the target. Only a few days or a few weeks later and I had begun to convert me. Finally, I only found out afterwards what is wrong with me. And in December will take place
the trial that I wanted to wait still. In terms of other events that were added yet, I would hold after December's really nothing here. Now would have been so far. After December, we have finally can move in together.

Just imagine two runners, both to be run against a certain time on a target. The starting signal, both going to run. One stumbles and falls half way, leaves. However, the other will move past him, runs, runs, runs, stumbles just before the goal, but does not fall out. He continues to run and missed his target by only a few hundredths of a second.
Both runners have not reached their goal .... but is it hurts more?

I think exactly how I feel ... and probably always will feel.

I am very very tired. The work today was very exhausting and I think I'm going now immediately lay down.

will But tomorrow I continue to write in any case, because there is more to tell

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mr_morphine @ 2007-10-17T00: 25:00

I think I can breathe for now. The night sweats comes with the safety of opioids. I have noticed the fact that the symptoms disappeared when I stopped taking the things. I'm glad drum, because I had been really worried me.

Yesterday I sent my ex the cellar key, which I had from it. In the envelope I've enclosed a little note with a few words to them. On the day I wanted to make sure, today I turn doubt whether this was a good idea Sun
I've discovered by chance on a single page and am stumbled her profile. As was seen, that it is in a new relationship ... with a WOMAN! I must say that surprised me a little, but it has previously stressed repeatedly that it is 100% heterosexual and a relationship with a woman absolutely can not imagine. Added to this was that she used to respond to other women flirt very negative. I am always amazed at how blatant people can change very quickly. Although I have written that they no longer interests me, but that was a lie ... I have to admit that I secretly still stuck in it but if I ever had the slightest hope that one day the two of us again pair be, then this hope has by now vanished into thin air.

Is this a result of the trauma that she has benefited from our relationship? Or should I worry about because they might become a lesbian because of me? Who knows ... If I'm honest, I think she is a woman also be better. She is so sensitive and vulnerable, so that a woman simply does a better job.

Nevertheless, I condemn it not so, because I have nothing against homosexuals. I wrote her that I wish her all the best with her new partner and that I am crazy for her as she could give her life meaning again. I told her that I would report me again with her and I really wanted to leave it at that. They asked me because - as she said - still loves me and it would kill them if we would consider further contact. But now that she has a new relationship, the feelings for me might not be available. That's why I have written to her again. I would of course look great if they would respond and we again had little contact with each other, but to be honest I'm not as big hopes. What the hell ... life goes on ...

I'll have the daily phone calls with my company and ask if I can freely take the month of December. Theoretically should be possible, because I've got enough overtime, except for the 8 days of leave, I still have. A little free time I would do quite well, at least I've been working for weeks almost continuously. I have rediscovered a love of music and play again lately very much guitar. Early next year I will, if all goes well, go with my guys into the studio and record a new demo CD. On the resonances I am now looking forward, as the songs sound much better than our old one.

Something's happening in my life ... luckily:) I'm slowly

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mr_morphine @ 2007-10-04T20: 23:00

seriously worried about my health. For weeks now, I wake up drenched in sweat. Usually I'm so sweaty, I have to change my clothes. Through my work, I know that night sweats can be a sign of a serious disease. It can be part of the so-called B symptoms, typical of cancer. However, the cause may be also taking medication, which really is for me, too. Because I have constant access to opioids, I could not leave my hands off. And the revenue, and the withdrawal of which can also cause night sweats. I'm not sure what this is and I'm slowly really thought about it.

There is no other way. I sit now on all I'm here still take on, no matter how unpleasant it is for me. If, after Withdrawal, which will probably last a few days, the night sweats are still not gone, then I can assume that the cause lies somewhere else here. In that case I'll go to the doctor and let it clarify, and I must say that I now have a fear of the possible test results.

I hope that it will not come to that.

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mr_morphine @ 2007-09-25T19:00:00

five days have passed since I wrote the last entry here. It seems to me, as it would back a month. The season starts at the moment so extreme in its length.
overwhelm me at work, customers with gifts in the form of chocolates, champagne bottles, wine bottles stack, etc. Here at my apartment in the alcohol bottle and no one is drinking it. I have not the faintest idea what to do with it. The first thing I can think of would be to give it away, but to whom?
Now that I write this occurs to me that I have for weeks been drinking any alcohol. I think I'm going to renounce this stuff forever, just as I have sworn off cigarettes and drugs. Life can indeed endure this difficult, but easier to live. Otherwise I
have no idea what I could write.
days ago I had a severe crash psyche that I thought, I'll introduce myself. As bad as it was really unprecedented. The only thing that saved me again has been my music. What would I do without you?
For two weeks I have changed out of working with anyone from a personal standpoint. I live and work in a big city where every day tens of thousands of people silently walk by each other. Sometimes I sit on the train, listening to my music and look at the people sitting there for me and I come once more to the conclusion that I feel a stranger among them. The way they interact with each other is so incomprehensible, so illogical, so unnecessary.
without sinking into self-pity do, but loneliness is one of the worst feelings that need to endure. I try to fight it, trying with other to get in touch. But what I get is not what I want. The presence of some people and communicating with them sometimes requires me off so much energy that I do not ultimately what I really like this. Since I prefer to prefer to be alone, even when threatening to devour me with time.
When I think back to past times, there were only 2 people who were really with me on the same wavelength. One was an old school friend, a native Bosnian, who then fled to Germany before the war. He has returned more than 7 years in his home and I've never heard of him. N. The other person was, my Ex, but also it has indeed adopted some months ago from my life, so that no one remained to me since. This problem can

think of me only recently, but already I have been. I used so often went walking alone at night, especially on warm summer evenings and I've stayed at several places alone to take in the hope someone with whom I entertain me or make friends even, perhaps.

If I'm honest, this loneliness was also the reason why I was then taken refuge in drugs. If you are busy with himself and his wine, a being alone does not matter.
I try to let me on anything purely external. How it looks like inside me, no one knows. I am ashamed so much that I like to talk to anyone about it. I suffer much from it. It makes me miserable and I never learned to deal with it. Many times I've tried myself to distract with music or other things to do, but it is useless, because one of the status quo always catches up and a call to consciousness, in which position you are. And sometimes when I'm in bed at night alone, I think back to past times, realized my current condition and fall into a deep melancholy mood ...
On the other hand, I am convinced that in me outstanding abilities that nobody else has. Deep in me a lot of potential is there, I know. I need only take the fact that I'm probably doomed to be alone and accept it for what it is, so I can focus my energy on the important things. Now that I have written this, it will be for me probably easier to do this. Hopefully.

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choco macks @ 2007-09-22T21: 58:00

So, now it again but you always here to bring up to date = o)
Alos, I'm working now for 3 weeks at Telekom and I think really great. Well, until now, can one still speak of non-real "work." The first operational use by 15 catches Of October, until then we are in the "BBi-phase" means that we are currently ne group of 16 trainees, and we learn it at the time to know better (make team games, excursions etc.) and learn as general work out things (presentations on basic things like safety and privacy, and so) and .. yes, is really chillig currently, and is great fun! My fellow trainees are also really great .. Thats has so far no problems and I get to beat the 3 weeks before when we would have known each other longer. So far is really cool.
I'm nervous since bissl week already sick. Have a sore throat and cough and headache. is nich so pleasant, but this weekend I really try to become healthy again ^ ^ Otherwise, as far as it is private in order (except for the usual things ^ ^)

That's far from me:)

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Falling with no end............

I have no idea what is wrong with me. Is it just a phase that will soon be over? As bad as it has never, as long as I can remember. I feel absolutely tired, tired and without energy. My thoughts are like small pieces of matter that orbit around a black hole, waiting to be absorbed by it. I was once a fun-loving Man with many hobbies and interests. My dreams, my goals, my desires, my energy ... it seems that nothing is more left of them, only emptiness. It seems that wiped out the last spark of life in me. Hardly any social contact and combine same I am increasingly appear incapable of doing anything about it.
My body is strongly affected by stress at work.
How many people are depressed? There seems to be a common disease and it seems to make even the youngest among us.

I'll have to do something else ... I no longer catch out of here alive.

I can not arrange my thoughts grad. I have so much to say, but I do not know how.

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mr_morphine @ 2007-09-03T18:09:00

The weekend was great. A. I have seen again and we had a lot of fun together. We have been listening to music, movies watched, it boiled ... I got a little help in their professional work, we have together played guitar in the evening ... we left and are completely ready in the morning then collapsed into bed and at some point in arm poor sleep. It was nothing more between us.
A. I know for many years, we were a long time ago a couple. Due to the circumstances was pretty stupid back then to pieces. I regret even today, because I would stay together with her, then I had some unpleasant experiences have been spared. After our separation moved away and came together with a guy, a pub in the casting part. The contact broke off first and we heard nothing more from each determined two years. Only a few weeks, we have found again by chance zueiander and now it seems as if we had never been apart. We were at the weekend to give it back inseparable.

A. is a wonderful person, very sensitive to what they like to hide behind but their tough facade. As for dealing with other people, she has a very keen sense for which I have always admired. Their presence alone does me very well and I am happy to work with her.

In itself, I would love to have as a partner again and I think I have realized that they were it not averse. I can also think of no better than them. She is pretty, intelligent, confident, emotionally alive, musical and very versatile. Moreover, it is as a child ... so as I head in plain text: it meets my ideal of a woman.

would unfortunately not work there because of me, because since the history of N. I find myself hardly able to relations. It seems as if she had killed a part of me.

Somehow the thing is with her still very haunted by many questions in my head that are never answered.
I'm afraid that a large part of the naivety with which I usually ranging from relationships and the ability to trust someone who has been zertört by the separation, and I hope that I succeed, at some point to compensate for the back.

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mr_morphine @ 2007-08-30T00:51:00

The last days are very tiring. I work in a shop, where chaos reigns, where no one is able to organize, or delegate. Regardless, this month is also gone, and then I take over a week or 2 free.
time work is great. I can take almost any time. I need to, because my breaking point is reached quickly, especially if it operated at a hectic approaching.

weekend I'm going to Giessen A. and visit, which also studied social pedagogy and psychology. I've known for several years and our relationship was always wonderful to one another! I like them very much and am totally see them again once.
A key point in whether I like people or not, is whether I feel very comfortable in her presence. Many factors play a role. In any case, was with her from the beginning of the case, because it has an incredibly warm and childlike way about him.

I wrote to her recently in private and she said that she would soon write a technical work. As it happens, just above the topic autism. And they asked me if I told her maybe some things might help. It would be better for the evaluation, when she describes things from the perspective of an interested party.
Sure thing ... I just love rooms with prejudices and misconceptions about autism!
When we last wrote to each other, they put me in the run quite a few questions. For example, if autistic people happy alone. The general opinion prevails that the sole would not be feeling as bad.
I told her that this is only partly true
If we choose to be alone, because we simply need our withdrawal, then we do not suffer under it. Then it is indeed very pleasant, because it helps us energy fill up, we in dealing with normal Neuros (I call the non-autistic people) need. But
lasting loneliness makes us create. Very much so! But sometimes we have no other choice. Because the world consists nunmal 99% of normal Neuros, autistic people have huge problems with social contact. As is to be a simple no other way than alone. I know this from me. If I go among men, it cost a lot of energy. And the higher the number, the more likely my inner stress. People never make it to be quiet. They messed chat, move frantically react so unpredictable ... all can lead to me in the worst-case overload.
of such a profile Society, I have absolutely nothing, I still feel lonely because they simply move on a level with which I can not begin in the least.
And since I prefer to prefer to be alone, although I am ready for the long term also makes

the weekend I wanted to tell you more about it. Anyway, I am totally and can not wait. Finally I get out again. I get the feeling slowly to sit in jail.

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mr_morphine @ 2007-08-18T15:52:00

Joa, that's all well with my vacation. As of Monday I have to work again. As it stands, I will put in some mobile nursing service. I'm curious. I've done something like this a few times and it was always very pleasant, as because I have my own area in which I no sparks between them.
anyway I function best when I can work alone. So wait.

Otherwise it was a very great week. Last week I was in Kiel for a few "friends" (I knew previously from the internet). It was a great evening, although much too short.
Well, the day after I was adopted and then rode the train to Lübeck. From there I took a taxi to Travemünde. Was more expensive than the train, but I had the runs before (Frankfurt / Main-Kiel and Kiel-Lübeck) so fed up with the regional railways, and was so at the end of my patience that I'm worth the money was. Once there we took the ferry over to Trelleborg, Sweden.
The trip itself was quite funny, I've celebrated here with a couple of Swedes who have shared with me their beer and cigarettes.

However, what concerns the states on the ferry ... my face ... I never go more with such a ferry!
said, the ride itself was very pleasant, but one was at all long nose any restrictions. Moreover, the prices for food on board so horrendously expensive that one immediately passed the appetite. In the evening it was only until 22:30
food, which of course is not chosen very happy if you go on board first at 22:00. On
tomorrow then, just before we arrived, I went down and wanted to have breakfast. When I entered the room, a lady was revamped in the most expensive suit at the door and asked me "Do you eat breakfast?"
yes
"costs 10 €"
"Please?" I still did not order. "
"This is a flat rate"
"Well I say it once was lumped: NO" and went back. They've probably complete the shot. With the money I buy here in the cheapest bakery in Frankfurt 50 rolls!

Well, I then waited for the ferry port and then I gagangen directly aboard. What surprised me was that I was not the one - yet the exit was controlled by anyone or stopped. I could immigrate illegally to smuggle kilos of drugs or weapons ... no one would have stopped me!

in Sweden I had a super time. I was with my cousin in Malmö, have met a few people about him, which I will continue to keep contact. And if it is possible for me again, I will repeat that in any case, that's for sure!
I play with the idea, quite likely to emigrate there. Keeps me here, at least nothing more.

The trip back to "good old Germany" was all we went not great. The trip from Malmo to London I was just Cost 1000 crowns (just over 100 €)
The seats on the bus were more uncomfortable, the air conditioning could not turn off, so I had to wear thick, so I do not get cold.
learned Then I ever so know a lady who were riding with me on the bus. She was from Hamburg and also happened to be a nurse (man, what a coincidence ) came
When I told her that I am also from the industry, we have a little talk. She said that she also would like to emigrate to Sweden and there would have already looked for jobs. She was there for a whole 3 months and there has been an internship at the University Hospital in Stockholm. Then she wrote me a few addresses and made another list of what I would have to consider everything. I was very nice of her, I would probably not bother me ^ ^ made
Then they began to talk out of school, etc. I'm talking about private things, however, generally not very much and certainly not about the work, because I've to do every day, so I went more in the role of the listener. She started and chatted about drug abuse (of Luminal to morphine was all there), about their mental health problems that they had well and I wondered for a moment, if I somehow magically dressed such people. When she told me then her "souvenir" showed that they were from Sweden had brought with him (a whole tupperware box full of marijuana), I could not help laughing ...

Everything went then the whole journey to Hamburg. We talked about this and that and it seemed to be fine that I was not much talking. Once there, she said goodbye to me, give me your email addy and offered me to visit them every time in HH ... The city seems to me not letting go

But I was glad when it soon went. When I joined the bus, I saw her still behind as she walked away and a handful of people were expected, they received with joy. All of a sudden I Fiehl into a deep melancholy mood. The whole area reminded me even more because of my Ex, die sich vor mehr als 3 Monaten von mir verabschiedete. Und ich wusste, dass, wenn ich in F ankomme, niemand da sein würde, der auf mich wartet. All diese Gedanken im Verein mit meiner in letzter Zeit ohnehin schon angeschlagenen Psyche bewirkten, dass mir plötzlich die Tränen runterliefen. Ich zog mir schnell meine Sonnenbrille auf und senkte meinen Kopf nach unten, weil ich nicht wollte, dass das irgendjemand mitkriegt.
Zum Glück hatte ich auf meinem Handy ein paar MP3-Dateien drauf, so dass ich mich mit Musik ein wenig ablenken konnte. Ausserdem beruhigte mich der Gedanke, dass es anderen vielleicht ähnlich geht wie mir.

Irgendwann verfiehl ich in eine Apathie und schaffte es doch noch, einzuschlafen. Nun sitze I am back here and think about this and that.

Paradoxically, such a person can feel so lonely that has someone with him constantly. But these people are not like me, they communicate with me on a level with which I can not do anything.
so complicated, so needlessly complicated. Language is ever in my eyes just to sober exchange of information necessary, not more. This

autism is both a blessing and a curse at the same time. Recently, I get less and less to deal with loneliness, but I do not want to stun again with drugs. But I've learned to love my senses too much to numb that I once again as durable wants.
what I must do to get this damned lonely in the handle. I know there are also those out there like me who make it to the same reasons not to make contact with others. Perhaps it is
be indulged me soon again, to enjoy the togetherness that I had the honor to meet shortly. Irgendwan ... I live for these moments ...

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Intelligent?

your intelligence quotient is 127

you are highly intelligent and have a extraordinary eloquence. You combine the eloquence of a writer with the imagination of an artist. your creative mind is always awake and strives to express themselves and to present his latest ideas.

They are exceptionally good at languages and very sensitive. Not least because you can make even the most complex human relationships play easy to understand. This makes you a wise philologists.

~ ~ ~

Well, who would have thought? I did the test just out of boredom quickly rattled down (about 10 mins!), Without much und dann kommt sowas bei raus... Leute, macht ihr mal den Test, und sagt mir dass es wirklich so einfach is an son Ergebnis zu kommen (Kommentar hinterlassen ;).. sonst werd ich noch eingebildet ^.^


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aaalso, the countdown is on - today is my second last working day here with the great one-euro job, after 2 weeks of vacation and then we go to the training! : D I can believe
Garnich that I've worked here n half years, the time passed so quickly .. Where's because the year go? ^ ^ Actually isses a pity, because it was already mega chillig here. Okay, now and again seehr seehr boring, but for a euro an hour (for the most do nothing) .. you can not complain really. General wars here already cool, the staff is friendly and I remember fond memories of the delicious cakes and strawberries with vanilla ice cream ^ ^ * drools *
the holidays I'll enjoy it. well, what does enjoy .. sleep long, clean little (my desk and my closet -! a DISASTER ^ ^), make friends, maybe again some day n to Stuttgart ... depending on the dismissed so ^ ^ And
comes on 3 September start will be, as we meet at 10.30 clock in the telecom and get any introductory information .. and 4 - 6.9. , we go to Stuttgart to a so-called "welcome event." Since I am also curious ... especially to my "Azubi-Kollegen/innen. This is cool .. I hope like me / I * lol * But schnute pull as they might also does not operate ... * Gg * And the cooole of course, is that my training pay in advance the war .. Coal means twice ^ ^ (yes war also my last Hartz 4 and my wages for 1 euro job in late August) is determined n great feeling to have money again:-S

So, that sometimes .. I'll do more time with ... nothing to do B-)

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choco macks @ 2007-08-08T15: 05:00


I discovered at affenbaer and I have to also do the same. I do love those tests .. whether the results reflect reality, however, is always questionable ^ ^ In that case I'd say about ... 70% agree about .. containing 30 % non-voting .. lol .. Can you yourself ^ ^

Social Realists (FR)

choose (in less than 5 minutes, you know, which type you are! )

Social Realists is a popular man full of energy. He is reliable, well organized and helpful. Traditional values are important to him, the foundation of a family plays a central role for him. Social Realists have a marked social streak. He always has to listen to the concerns and problems of others and spare no effort if you ask him for help. Sensitively and with understanding, he sensed, what do other people. Social Realists are always willing to appreciate the strengths of the other person and to excuse its weakness. Of all the personality types of this is the most sociable. Social contacts are very important to him.

with conflict and criticism, the Social Realists bad deal - harmony is their elixir of life. Recognition and appreciation are very important for this type. Definition, however, is not necessarily his strength. In partnership working and he is loyal, committed and always there when you need it. Friendships he closes quickly due to its open and cordial manner and has a large circle of acquaintances. In love, He is faithful and attentive and cared for his partner with a lot of imagination and sensitivity. His feelings as the Social Realists of open and honest. Does a relationship on the rocks, he tends to blame on him. Therefore it is very difficult to him to end a partnership, even if it has long ceased to meet its needs.

Social Realists are more conservative. He has a solid inner values and control system that is oriented to the prevailing traditions. Clear, structured environments and workflows, he preferred; too much change and turmoil it is rather unpleasant. His strengths are more likely to care and reliability, less flexibility and spontaneity. New to the Social Realists are only partially digested. If you are looking but someone who does a task reliably and accurately, he is the right thing.

Adjectives which describe your type: extroverted, practical, emotional, planning, energy-charged emotional, traditional, loyal, helpful, dedicated, reliable, caring, objective, thorough, organized, warm, open, friendly, outgoing, sociable, obliging , self-sacrificing, compassionate, organized, social, sensitive, warm, sophisticated.

Airsoft Walkie Talkie

mr_morphine @ 2007-08-07T20:46:00

Who Is It

I Gave Her Money I Gave Her Time

I Gave Her Everything Inside One Heart Could Find

I Gave Her Passion My Very Soul

I Gave Her Promises And Secrets
Sun Untold And She Promised Me

Forever
And A Day We'd Live As One
We Made Our Vows
We'd Live A Life Anew
And She Promised Me In Secret
That She'd Love Me For All Time
It's A Promise So Untrue
Tell Me What Will I Do?

And It Doesn't Seem To Matter
And It Doesn't Seem Right
'Cause The Will Has Brought
No Fortune
Still I Cry Alone At Night
Don't You Judge Of My Composure
'Cause I'm Lying To Myself
And The Reason Why She Left Me
Did She Find In Someone Else?

(Who Is It?)
It Is A Friend Of Mine?
(Who Is It?)
Is It My Brother?
(Who Is It?)
Somebody Hurt My Soul Now
(Who Is It?)
I Can't Take This Stuff No More

I Am The Damned
I Am The Dead
I Am The Agony
Inside the Dying Head
This Is Injustice
Woe Unto Thee
I Pray This Punishment
Would Have Mercy On Me

And She Promised Me Forever
That We'd Live Our Life As One
We Made Our Vows
We'd Live A Love So True
It Seems That She Has Left Me
For Such Reasons Unexplained
I Need To Find The Truth
But See What Will I Do!

And It Doesn't Seem To Matter
And It Doesn't Seem Right
'Cause The Will Has Brought
No Fortune
Still I Cry Alone At Night
Don't You Judge Of My Composure
'Cause I'm Bothered Everyday
And She Didn't Leave A Letter
She Just Up And Ran Away

(Who Is It?)
It Is A Friend Of Mine
(Who Is It?)
Is It My Brother?
(Who Is It?)
Somebody Hurt My Soul, Now
(Who Is It?)
I Can't Take It 'Cause I'm Lonely

And It Doesn't Seem To Matter
And It Doesn't Seen Right
'Cause The Will Has Brought
No Fortune
Still I Cry Alone At Night
Don't You Judge Of My Composure
'Cause I'm Lying To Myself
And The Reason Why She Left Me
Did She Find Someone Else?

And It Doesn't Seem To Matter
And It Doesn't Seem Right
'Cause The Will Has Brought
No Fortune
Still I Cry Alone At Night
Don't You Judge Of My Composure
'Cause I'm Bothered Everyday
And She Didn't Leave A Letter
She Just Up And Ran Away

And It Doesn't Seem To Matter
And It Doesn't Seem Right
'Cause The Will Has Brought
No Fortune
Still I Cry Alone At Night
Don't You Judge Of My Composure
'Cause I'm Lying To Myself
And The Reason Why She Left Me
Did She Find Someone Else?

And It Doesn't Seem To Matter
And It Doesn't Seem Right
'Cause The Will Has Brought
No Fortune
Still I Cry Alone At Night
Don't You Judge Of My Composure
'Cause I'm Bothered Everyday
And She Didn't Leave A Letter
She Just Up And Ran Away

And It Doesn't Seem To Matter
And It Doesn't Seem Right
'Cause The Will Has Brought
No Fortune
Still I Cry Alone At Night
Don't You Judge Of My Composure
'Cause I'm Bothered Everyday
And She Didn't Leave A Letter
She Just Up And Ran Away

And It Doesn't Seem To Matter
And It Doesn't Seem Right
'Cause The Will Has Brought
No Fortune
Still I Cry Alone At Night
Don't You Judge Of My Composure
'Cause I'm Lying To Myself
And The Reason Why She Left Me
Did She Find Someone Else?

Ich liebe dieses Lied, denn es spricht mir grad so sehr aus der Seele. Jede Zeile, jeder Ton, alles...

Zymol Natural Cleaner Wax

mr_morphine @ 2007-08-07T14:19:00

Wieviel kosten deine Sünden?

hier klicken

Bei mir kam folgendes raus:

Deine Sündenquittung

Ich habe Drogen genommen - 20€
... und das mehr als einmal - 15€
Ich habe jemandem Drogen angeboten - 40€
Ich habe bereits geschmuggelt - 100€
Ich zeige beim Autofahren manchmal Vögel oder Stinkefinger - 15€
Ich habe einen Unfall verschuldet - 35€
Ich habe beim Ausparken ein strange car angeditscht - 20 €
... and then I just went away - 300 €
I'm completely drunk or stoned cars driving - 300 €
I lie sometimes, that trooper - 15 €
Sometimes I blaspheme about the appearance of another - 15 €
I'm schonmal morning woke up and did not know who is next to me - 75 €
I have paid for sex money - 50 €
I strange underwear was stolen off the lead - 15 €
I've stolen something over 100 € worth - 200 €
my parents I had money stolen - 300 €
I have stolen money or my partner cheated him of money to - 500 €
I schonmal vandalized something - 100 €
I had sex with someone who was more than 10 years older than me - 15 €
I'm schonmal unfaithful - 100 €
I said to someone, he was good in bed. although that was not - 15 €
sometimes I park on disabled parking spaces - 40 €
I drive sometimes black with bus or train - 40 €
I sometimes skipped school - 15 €
... and thereby falsified nor the apology note - 50 €
I deliberately did not do their homework - 15 €
bad grades I've hidden from my parents - 30 €
I remained seated - 50 €
If I give you my weight, this is not - 30 €
I schonmal a dirty home video was shot - 15 €
I schonmal stolen fruit - 0.05 €
I like oral sex - 4.99 €
I schonmal had sex in the woods or on the beach - 4.99 €

€ 2,540.03

Oh shit ... Admission to heaven is quite expensive. The best way I start to save schonmal

Puppy Vomit Bile Morning

mr_morphine @ 2007-08-03T16:50:00

I do not know anymore. For days I just vegetate in front of me and I see nothing in a sense. All the plans that I had once made me, all the goals I had set times and any ideas how my life should look like at some point have been in recent weeks / months due to external influences more and more destroyed, until finally no more of them remained. What is left behind, is an inner emptiness and the realization that my life leads nowhere at the moment. to my old friends I have hardly any contact and meet new people with me is anything but simple. Something I was never very good.

Yesterday was another one of those utterly pointless evenings.

I was with J, an old friend, whom I know from times when I was in F-Rödelheim dwelt. A nice guy, if somewhat quixotic. But on the other hand, I am in some ways too.'ll See you maybe once a year, since we both have our long developed in different directions. But I come here before so damn lonely that I just take every opportunity to be among people. We were together yesterday given the edge because he got the idea to carry with me to a party to F-Westend. I said to have mixed feelings, was probably also because a "yes" to bring light into this state on the lips as a "No".
stiff as boards dragged we look to the next S-Bahn station and squeeze us in an almost completed railway. How can I hate something ...
Well, the rest I wrap myself in silence times.
I am seriously myself away from it all here. That means, among other things, leave the area on here forever and start anew elsewhere. Slowly I will be here all too much, neither are the people well for me, nor I have the feeling that it move forward even one meter in my life.
I'm going to look out the number from my cousin in Sweden and ask him if he has time to the days that I can come to him. If it because I like it, I will stay there. But that remains to be seen.

Verruca Planae Treatment

we were new to guest

Dear singers of the choir-Eisler,
four weeks have passed already since the singing group "Harmony" Unterpörlitz eV with you the weekend of 8th-10.6. spent in Dresden.
It is our desire to the board and every one of you once again to sincerely say thank you for the absolutely successful weekend. Planning, preparation and execution of the meeting and the concert choir have worked out perfectly and it did nothing to be desired - and in the last minute confirmation difficulties you have well mastered.
Special thanks we address to your singer Rolf, who despite the heat conducted very professionally guided tour of the city of Dresden.
Allen this weekend will stay in a beautiful memory.
Greetings from the beautiful Thuringia

Beate Very
second Chairman of the GV "harmony" Unterpörlitz eV

Tattoo Statistics Chart

nice site!

Hi Stefanie and Iris,

to update the site I've found the new entries to Osterspai. The report and the pictures are well done, I thank you for this!

Greetings from Gunther!

Groping Bus Western Chikan

choco macks @ 2007-05-24T11: 01:00

Testing, testing .. one two .. and most importantly, ACHTTT! : D