mr_morphine @ 2007 - 11-18T17: 05:00
Part 2 is not the news
long after I had received the reply of my ex, I called T. and told him that I will austeigen the band. It just went on so no more. To be honest, I was with the situation in the band for a long time not really happy, but I stayed because I still had the hope that they would do something.
There were basic things that have bothered me to the others I would not have to change. As I have already wrote the first part, I have in the past few months a change through. This included that I had developed musically. I started to hear the music differently, experience them differently, they feel right and I noticed that the rest of the troops could not go along with me. They were still on the same level as some years ago and would not and could not get involved because I felt that I just slowed down. So I have taken the consequences and went away. J. flipped out when he has experienced. It ended in a huge controversy and we would have almost beaten. The moment I realized what I had actually suspected all along: What he really kind of person. For not only musically, and personally I have developed and am no longer the same as 5 years ago. He did not want to admit, for he is still on the same page and it will probably still be in 5 years. At the time, then I thought it was still great to drink every night, taking drugs, going to parties, other reason to chat etc.. And now that those times are over for me, so he did not come clear. J. may be an intelligent and sensitive human being with good people skills and a keen intellect, which no one pretending to something so easily. He can see through people very well and assess situations well and quickly, but his character is corrupt through and through. He is basically still a toddler with huge ego problems, internally totally restless and unstable. timid by nature, it occurs as a go-getter and gives every impression as one, which one is better from the road. He is very engaging, always seeks to be number one, always in focus and control everything and everyone. Earlier, he was off with the wrong people who took advantage of him in rows, and he noticed it mostly when it was too late. Then he parted from them, but not without having previously beaten again with them, or at least offended. I've never experienced that he wanted to divorce someone for good. In most cases, have their Friends and suspected him unceremoniously left to simply never reported to him. Among all his friends he had until now, almost no one was there where he had had no quarrel. To his leave but that exploiting any of his friends, on the contrary: He is always there for his friends when they need it, but in friendship, he sees something like a following, which he is the leader. As long as his friends act and behave this way, as he wants and not develop it own ego, he accepts them as his friends. But if someone starts and developed his own opinion, then he tried to fight him and subdue him. And if he does not succeed, there it friction constantly full to these friends pissed and go back on him. How many I have already come and go and see him ... I was the one who has endured the longest time with him. Nearly 10 years we were friends.
Him I cry at least according to no tears, because I think I'm going to start now that I'm rid of him, finally, to flourish. He stopped me more than he has done much to me. Too bad that I have not detected much earlier. Who knows where I would be today. But
better now than later. I recently had
a meeting with T., the bassist of my ex-band. I'm with him a few things need to be clarified. With J. I would not have done, because that would be likely to escalate in 2 minutes.
It was about our web site and domain name, whom I now write about. Then it went about whether they can play the songs I've written ... I have of course denied, because I do not think J. sings a single note of my songs! T. I'm sorry, because he is innocent in the matter purely drawn with. With him I never had a problem, he was always very correct to me. He is a wonderful person, how she meets these days rarely and we have decided that we always wanted to write again here and there.
When we said our goodbyes and I gave him the keys of the rehearsal room, handed over, we had tears in his eyes. 6 years we were like brothers, always together on the road, have all shared. Now we have torn apart such circumstances.
Life is not fair to me .... in any case has nothing more here. I will look for me soon new people with whom I can make music together. And if I should not be found, I will move on. I keep open the option to go abroad.
I only live once and life can be over any time.
It's a race against time, from which you do not know when it expires. As a waiting room for death. You never know when one is called.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Battery Charge Hf10 How Long
mr_morphine @ 2007-11-17T17: 53:00
I see that I am here for 4 weeks 've written anything. There is news, oh yes ... there are plenty of news, and not all of them positive, considered at least from my present position.
My last entry ended with the words "Something's happening in my life." Given the events in recent weeks has set this as bitter irony that I had at the time no idea how right I should keep these words.
First of all times: My ex is on the note that I have it resolved in the letter, actually answer. A little surprised me, because I had not expected it. Although their response was of short and concise, but at least she has ever made the effort. She told me that they are still not in a position looks to connect again to contact me. Then she wished me all the best. That's it. Everything was in their mail not there. Words that one has read in under 10 seconds, but have enough significance.
Then I had her then responded. What I just wrote it, I do not remember, but it was not much longer. Actually, one would think that if she is in a new relationship, she may have feelings for me no more. Apparently, the not so well, but to be honest, I do not know really how I interpret their behavior.
I think it's not so great that they all happen overnight Contact was broken off and is completely submerged. I am still of the opinion that we have too much experience together and that our relationship was too intense, as that absolute silence would be appropriate.
But on the other hand, I can not force anybody to do so.
is really slow even before I bad I my whole LJ zupflastere with it and so often write about her. Well, at least the chance is now lower, they will do something to ... now that a new man came into her life. To know that she is now happy again, I will help in processing the whole immensely.
There are so many things I wanted to tell her absolutely. I will here all down, hoping that they might look clean but one day here and reading this.
Although I have initially denied, I am indebted to N. some. She has made a difference in me which has made long before her 29 years no one. She has done a miracle that I even still so overwhelmed that I should become a believer on the spot. have been I look back at this time and draws a conclusion, then, the fact that they came into my life, only determination. All my life I had built up a facade and they accepted so much to me that it was part of my ego. And I've eventually lost in the fog of daily acting for themselves what I definitely seen in retrospect brought to drugs. Not only do I no longer knew who I was, I had no idea where I lost myself. Where should I start searching.
She has managed the impossible and led me to myself. We were without doubt the same type of person and when I watched it, it was as I looked deep into my psyche. After the separation began my facade to crumble, piece by piece, until now nothing is left of it. I previously had a life without drugs can hardly imagine, now I can not imagine ever again to start. I have taken new courage, am gained an unprecedented self-confidence and feel completely adjusted psychologically. I have now accepted as I am. Thanks to you I know now to what I have to ensure in your life. Thanks to her I am now finding my way. N. Thanks! I am obliged to you forever in gratitude.
Although it is not always easy, but now I have at least one perspective and knows what it means to live.
pity that I did not realize when we were still together. Too bad that we have achieved our goal ever. Sometimes I fall today into a deep sadness when I think back to that time, for only a few time later, I knew who I really am. If we were at the time still been together, I am sure that a positive place U-turn in our relationship would have. I actually still not managed to get over it and if I'm erhlich, I do not know if I'll ever make. Because it hurts so much damned if I imagine, cursed as we have just missed the target. Only a few days or a few weeks later and I had begun to convert me. Finally, I only found out afterwards what is wrong with me. And in December will take place
the trial that I wanted to wait still. In terms of other events that were added yet, I would hold after December's really nothing here. Now would have been so far. After December, we have finally can move in together.
Just imagine two runners, both to be run against a certain time on a target. The starting signal, both going to run. One stumbles and falls half way, leaves. However, the other will move past him, runs, runs, runs, stumbles just before the goal, but does not fall out. He continues to run and missed his target by only a few hundredths of a second.
Both runners have not reached their goal .... but is it hurts more?
I think exactly how I feel ... and probably always will feel.
I am very very tired. The work today was very exhausting and I think I'm going now immediately lay down.
will But tomorrow I continue to write in any case, because there is more to tell
I see that I am here for 4 weeks 've written anything. There is news, oh yes ... there are plenty of news, and not all of them positive, considered at least from my present position.
My last entry ended with the words "Something's happening in my life." Given the events in recent weeks has set this as bitter irony that I had at the time no idea how right I should keep these words.
First of all times: My ex is on the note that I have it resolved in the letter, actually answer. A little surprised me, because I had not expected it. Although their response was of short and concise, but at least she has ever made the effort. She told me that they are still not in a position looks to connect again to contact me. Then she wished me all the best. That's it. Everything was in their mail not there. Words that one has read in under 10 seconds, but have enough significance.
Then I had her then responded. What I just wrote it, I do not remember, but it was not much longer. Actually, one would think that if she is in a new relationship, she may have feelings for me no more. Apparently, the not so well, but to be honest, I do not know really how I interpret their behavior.
I think it's not so great that they all happen overnight Contact was broken off and is completely submerged. I am still of the opinion that we have too much experience together and that our relationship was too intense, as that absolute silence would be appropriate.
But on the other hand, I can not force anybody to do so.
is really slow even before I bad I my whole LJ zupflastere with it and so often write about her. Well, at least the chance is now lower, they will do something to ... now that a new man came into her life. To know that she is now happy again, I will help in processing the whole immensely.
There are so many things I wanted to tell her absolutely. I will here all down, hoping that they might look clean but one day here and reading this.
Although I have initially denied, I am indebted to N. some. She has made a difference in me which has made long before her 29 years no one. She has done a miracle that I even still so overwhelmed that I should become a believer on the spot. have been I look back at this time and draws a conclusion, then, the fact that they came into my life, only determination. All my life I had built up a facade and they accepted so much to me that it was part of my ego. And I've eventually lost in the fog of daily acting for themselves what I definitely seen in retrospect brought to drugs. Not only do I no longer knew who I was, I had no idea where I lost myself. Where should I start searching.
She has managed the impossible and led me to myself. We were without doubt the same type of person and when I watched it, it was as I looked deep into my psyche. After the separation began my facade to crumble, piece by piece, until now nothing is left of it. I previously had a life without drugs can hardly imagine, now I can not imagine ever again to start. I have taken new courage, am gained an unprecedented self-confidence and feel completely adjusted psychologically. I have now accepted as I am. Thanks to you I know now to what I have to ensure in your life. Thanks to her I am now finding my way. N. Thanks! I am obliged to you forever in gratitude.
Although it is not always easy, but now I have at least one perspective and knows what it means to live.
pity that I did not realize when we were still together. Too bad that we have achieved our goal ever. Sometimes I fall today into a deep sadness when I think back to that time, for only a few time later, I knew who I really am. If we were at the time still been together, I am sure that a positive place U-turn in our relationship would have. I actually still not managed to get over it and if I'm erhlich, I do not know if I'll ever make. Because it hurts so much damned if I imagine, cursed as we have just missed the target. Only a few days or a few weeks later and I had begun to convert me. Finally, I only found out afterwards what is wrong with me. And in December will take place
the trial that I wanted to wait still. In terms of other events that were added yet, I would hold after December's really nothing here. Now would have been so far. After December, we have finally can move in together.
Just imagine two runners, both to be run against a certain time on a target. The starting signal, both going to run. One stumbles and falls half way, leaves. However, the other will move past him, runs, runs, runs, stumbles just before the goal, but does not fall out. He continues to run and missed his target by only a few hundredths of a second.
Both runners have not reached their goal .... but is it hurts more?
I think exactly how I feel ... and probably always will feel.
I am very very tired. The work today was very exhausting and I think I'm going now immediately lay down.
will But tomorrow I continue to write in any case, because there is more to tell
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