mr_morphine @ 2008-01-02T19: 35:00
Hello, my LJ, because where it drags me every now and again, even if I tell is not much have. But you can just be and that is very much worth.
than a month I now leave, was at home and have been thinking about this and that. In the meantime, I had a court date with my ex because of dealing with my daughter. Before the court was actually addressed only my drug use.
that I can now for the past 2 months completely abstinent live, I could not prove, unfortunately on the spot, I'll be there soon but still have the chance. More
would not write it. Much will turn out in the next few weeks.
Am 24.12. I was in Hamburg for example, a friend. We took a whole evening videos, listening to music, We talk about this and that. I then got down to sleep relatively early. It was not by 12 clock. I do not know what it was, but all of a sudden I got such a bad headache that I was unable to stay awake longer. The next day we were
umhergeschlendert in the local neighborhoods and are a little bit. Then are back to his home.
example, as I also passionate about music and wanted a recording of the evening to finish for one of his tracks. Why should I contribute to the guitar something that I did not succeed because he has only as a children's practice guitar. That is a miniature version of a conventional electric guitar and for me it was difficult rauszukriegen the only thing a sensible tone. So we dropped it and looked better on a few of his videos.
the morning after, I made my way to Kiel. I wanted to visit because 2 friends who I knew from the Internet. Those were the ones I had already visited in August, when I shortly thereafter went to Sweden. It was very nice. I absolutely dog alternately at one time, sometimes at the other and we got along great. A day later came to Kiel as well. He stayed until just before New Year's Eve and then drove back to HH.
I stayed there until the New Year and had a really nice time. Kiel is already fantastic, but of course not comparable to Hamburg.
As I was with, in Hamburg, I was overcome with a strange feeling. He lives with the car only a few minutes from my ex N. removed. Of course I avoided the area like the plague. No way I wanted to N. meet, because I would not know how I would have ruled them out, I would actually run her over his way. I would not imagine me that too.
On a night when I was drunk, I wrote N. a message in which I wished her a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. In response I received via email, that I should leave her alone.
Admittedly, the action was not considered. But what are already thinking in such emotional States?
It definitely was all in vain. You really want to have anything to do with me. I'm sorry. Actually, I've already written about them all that can be written. Texts in the LJ, songs and poems that will never get anyone to hear.
As it prospers? What they probably do now at the moment? Does she still sometimes both of us? Will she ever know how important it was really me?
It is like a shadow that hovers over me and followed me everywhere. Always present. Even the separation of my band has taken me emotionally difficult. For I know worse things.
something essential was ripped out of me and I'm sure it will never heal. I must see how I can live with it. Somehow.
N. I will never love again. We will never a pair.
But we were once
Thank you, my angel ....
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