mr_morphine @ 2008-10-29T23: 00:00
cold outside, it has become. Fairly even. When I am just now moved into the city, it was all about yet, but When I returned at night, I was freezing like crazy. Well, at least I know now that a simple sweatshirt no longer sufficient. I will have to take my jacket.
last few days I have a new car, I'm old, I have to sell. A rather delicate matter, because unfortunately I was stupid enough to drive the car until it had 312000 km down, so I can get for nothing. So I still had one more stupid find me buys the car at a good price. And I've made it!
My new car is an Opel Astra G BJ 2002, dark blue metallic. An absolutely brilliant part with everything your heart desires. And above all, with 125 PS! Nothing more frustration with the car driving, must hide from anybody.
one year ago today I saw J. for the last time only by chance I had to think of him again until recently when I listened to the old tracks again. Unbelievable how much potential in us as a team and put all the sadder that sets everything came to an end. Especially the way how the expired today makes me sad when I think about it. What were we have been close friends, such as only know from movies ... those who share everything with and have experienced many things together.
I only remember the Nights of song writing, in the winter before last year. Or our first sessions at all, 8 years ago. At that time we were rehearsing or in a former factory site in Limburg. I remember it was winter and we sat for two in the rehearsal room and we stoned the turnip tight. Then we talked about everything, laughed, joked and fantasized. This came about the most incredible things. In the time we had made so much and were full of enthusiasm. Young as we were, we were full of energy and made us think about anything. We had no worries, we lived simply. He was like the brother I never had.
We had not many such moments. But in such times I was always very creative. Especially around the winter time I can think of are the most beautiful things and since I am by far the most receptive to inspiration. I can not say what it is ... possibly to the peace that radiates the winter. Rest was always very important, where peace is, I feel at home.
My biggest problem is still the loneliness. Right now the time to me is very clear. Soon, even Christmas, where people go all together with family or more time with their partner to spend.
For me it is not because that I have no social contacts, but because I felt under other people has always been strange.
When I think back to past times, I remember only as a D. The only person who was ever with me on the same wavelength. But he has adopted, prior years of my life, so that no one left me since then. Once I've never seen it, years ago, when he was here again in Frankfurt, since it is as if it had never existed.
the past I am often gone for a walk in the evening, taken in the hope someone with whom I can talk or befriend me.
That's why I got myself back then fled to drugs. If you are busy with himself and his intoxication, one does not notice the loneliness.
I try to let me inside outwardly say anything, but I guess no one knows how much I truly suffer. It makes me unhappy, powerless, and I never learned to deal with it. If you are alone, you will automatically start brooding and thinks and sometimes, when I lay in bed at night alone, I think back to past times, realized my current state and fall into a deep melancholy mood ...
Despite all this, I would assess my situation better than last year.
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